All things come to an end...

What happened to the rest of my chemo treatments were just as hard as i have described them and worse..that's how i can sum it up..BUT after all the horrible events something good must come out of it right? YES! not just something good but something GREAT!!! I am now officially in complete remission and recovering really well. It has been 3 months now that my PET scans were clear..the last one was last Friday and also clear! I couldn't be more happier than a raccoon on a trash can in the Bronx..hehehe

Anyway, a lot has happened since my last post. I also went for 17 sessions of radiation therapy to my neck, back and chest. As of today i can barely speak since the treatments were affecting my voice box. Treatments ended last Thursday by the way. But don't fret, i will be able to speak AND sing again (to all my fans please be patient my singing career will be back soon! LOL). Though i'm able to eat solid food again with minimal pain. 

And oh yeah, my hair my hair my hair is finally growing back!!! As what i told a friend of mine, i feel like a pubescent kid with hair starting to grow in almost everywhere in my body. It feels really weird but i'm glad to see them back. My appetite is back so i am also gaining weight, i am 127lbs from a mere 107lbs since chemo #5. I am able to start enjoying my weekends like most people. I still want to go back to jogging and hopefully enroll in a gym coz right now i can only tolerate minimum to moderate exercises. Soon.

It was a journey of a lifetime. It changed everything in my life. I am a lot stronger than i was. I found out who my true friends are. I realized that people are naturally caring and that FAITH is one powerful thing!

To my family who i know literally went through the pain with me, i love you guys so much! To my friends, who cried and laughed with me throughout this whole experience, my hypothalamus leaps with you!, For all of you who expressed their love in any form, i thank you from the bottom of my heart! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! I wouldn't have been able to fight cancer alone. And most of all to the Higher Being watching me up there, thank you for the strength, the love, the hope... thank you very much! :)

To anybody reading this who are in the middle of a health crisis. Please NEVER give up the fight. Cancer is just a word!!! NOT your world. Cry if you have to. Be angry if you need to. Fight!!! You are not alone in this battle. 

Chemotherapy #4 & #5 and Updates!

Hello friends! So i did two more chemo sessions. And they both were as bad as the last time. Nothing really new to say except that the side effects last a little longer than usual. And that the pain lingers around in places i never imagined exists. But anyway, I can't believe i'm almost there! 3 more to go and graduation!!! unless you wanna consider the next phase which is a month a half of radiation therapy. Oh well that's a different story. 
By now the chemo therapy almost seems like a routine to me. I go to the hospital and "poison" myself, go home be sick for a week, recover for the next week and repeat the cycle again. But you know what the worst part is? It's not actually the unending feeling of your gut trying to escape your body through your mouth or the annoying, can't-sleep-unless-i-pop-a-pill pain all over your body or when almost everything your brain say delicious your tongue say "chalk", it's the isolation that this illness has given me. The feeling of being fragile...useless. I miss my family! I miss my friends! I miss myself!!! 
Sure my family comes in and takes care of me, sure my friends see me as much as they can or text and call me but it is never the same. I find it hard to explain it..don't really know how to start to explain it. 
First of, i became neutropenic, meaning i have to avoid crowds a much as i can so i won't risk getting an infection, hence the masks, the staying home all the time and the $4,000 booster shots. And then the side effects of the chemo that's really limiting me from doing anything except sleeping or yes, sleeping for a week or so. I guess what i'm trying to say is i wanted my old life back. I want to be able to wake up not feeling a single pain in any part of my body, enjoy every single food i love, watch every single movie without falling asleep in between, and be able to run! it might sound funny but i want to run for at least 30 mins and not feeling my heart jumping off my chest. I wanna be able to love the things i love again. 
The thought of having these things back in my life motivates me to push more and fight harder. I might not be able to have the same exact life i had before but sure i will be able to make a new life! A more interesting and valued life. So i'm not giving up the fight especially now that i'm almost there. 
Score board: 5-0 Lloyd-5 KiKi-0


*I would like to send out my love to my FAMILY who endured every pain i felt and every tear i shed. I LOVE YOU guys very much!!!
*To my dearest second family..my FRIENDS who loved me and supported me in every little and big way they can. I really appreciate all the help! thank you thank you thank you!!! :)
*To my support group for sharing my troubles.. thank you :)

Chemotherapy #3

it was a bit chilly in the chemo room..thank goodness for my blanket! :)

This was so far worse than the last sessions i had. I wish i can say that everything was ok but it was just not. I was nauseous from day 1 and been throwing up since then. Whatever food i take usually comes out in a couple of minutes despite my medications best effort to keep them in. This was just a bad chemo week! Well i guess there is no good chemo week. Everything tastes like cardboard..blah! I have uncontrollable hiccups that lasts fo 3 days. Had bone pain on my ribs, low back and arms. I'm hyperacidic and had heartburns that keep coming back no matter how much maalox i ingest. 

But today i'm a bit better. I finally had 2 tacos..2 WHOLE tacos and not puked it out! Considering the amount of food intake a had for the past 3 days, this is a big improvement.  And i think  i have a bit more room for extra food later.

Round 3 done! Score: 3-0 

Lloyd-3 KiKi-0

Chemotherapy #2

After being delayed for a week due to my low white blood cell count, i finally had my 2nd doze of chemotherapy last tuesday, June 29th. It was a bit different this time because my doctors added 2 more medications.. Namely Benadryl and Decadron along with the regular Pepcid and Zofran. They are supposed to help "ease" up the ABVD concoction. I find the Benadryl very helpful. It makes me relax and sleep during the procedure. 
I had a different nurse this time. Her name was miss Park. She is super new in the chemotherapy department. She doesn't even know that the new BP apps have print-outs of whatever was the reading. She asked me if i was nervous, and i said because you look nervous too! And then we just laughed and got along with everything. This time it only took about 3 1/2 hours for the actual procedure and 2 hours of waiting. So i got home around 4 pm.
Right after the first day, everything went to sleeping, sleeping and more sleeping. And oh yeah they gave me a booster shot for my bone marrow so it can rapidly produce new WBC and it's causing uncomfortable pain all over my body. Just along the back, the rib cage, my hips, neck and just about everywhere. Thank goodness for percocet or it could have been a very very long and painful week. But today i'm better! Pain is minimal, i'm not drowsy and not nauseous at all! YEY!!! So my OK week starts today i guess. :)

Everyone meet KIKI...

this is KiKi! my free-loader hate-hate relationship!!!

Hi everyone! I haven't been able to update my blog for quite a while now. I was really busy with all the "don't do this! and don't do that!"  from my doctors. By the way, the encircled black cluster is the lump of tumors in my neck and chest area - KiKi. It's just above my heart and the rest of the dark spots i can explain thru PMs..LOL

Let me tell you some things about KiKi. Because of "K" (KiKi's street name) i get to be poked on various parts of my body with nasty needles so the docs can find out if K is cranky or not, or in other words trying to still literally kill me from the inside. Because of K i have suffered insurmountable amount of pain all over my body from time to time. Because of "K" I'm stuck at home balding, bloated and isolated from the rest of the world. Because of K my life depends on toxic chemicals that make me vomit like my insides wanna come out. That's all because of K!

See how selfish KiKi is? No matter how much i tried to get rid of K, still! hangs around like nothings going on. Tried cutting K with a scalpel but it seems K is wrapped around my blood supply like a huge parasitic leech! So when docs suggested to "poison" her, i said yes right away even though it will also poison me in the process. It's now a matter of who's stronger, KiKi or Me? We have 7 rounds of pound per pound chemical warfare. So far the score is 1-0. In my favor of course! 

I just can't wait for the final round where i knock KiKi out and can finally leave me alone. And just to be sure I'm filing for a restraining order. "KiKi not allowed within Lloyd's lifetime!"

Chemotherapy #1

1 down! 7 more to go!!! I guess it really is too early to say i'm ok after today's treatment but being ok today is better than sick today right? They say it's beginner's luck. hmmmppp! Let's see.

Went to chemotherapy floor by 9am. No waiting today so that's a good news already. My nurse is Ms. Bello. She is very very very pleasant. She explained to me everything that's going to happen during my chemo sessions. She was gentle, funny and very professional AND she is Filipina!!! YEY! I'm just super happy 'coz i don't have to ask the same questions over and over because it's in a very fast english. At least i can use my own dialect. In other words communication was way better hehehe.Plus did i mention i'm Filipino and she's Filipina? hehehe

Anyway,  my medications were consists of 4 (thousand-dollars-worth each) drugs:Adriamycin (doxorubicin),Bleomycin, Vinblastine and Dacarbazine. Generally known as ABVD, these concoction of very powerful drugs are the cancer assassins! But just like any war, there are a lot of casualties - my poor healthy cells! BUT they are my necessary evil. I just have to know how to work with them. One of the medications was very scary looking. It was BLOODY RED. I just can't imagine that thing going in my body. But thank goodness my nurse reminded me of cherry flavored kool aides. It does sound better than blood i think? hehe So to sum the whole day, i came in 9 a.m. and went home 3:30pm. It seemed quick since i have my mom, dad and one of my very close friends throughout the procedure. Thank you guys!!! :) And oh! they served free lunch!!! hahaha tuna or turkey and cheese sandwich, apple and  milk. 

Here's a couple of pics we took inside, though it wasn't really allowed..sssshhhhh

My best weapon is my SMILE!!! :)

and of course a whole lot of bullcrap talk with my bud Edward! LOL

Until now i don't feel anything bad at all. Maybe just tired. I ate well. Ate a lot actually! I even had the time to blog. :) 

And thank you for your support everybody. They mean so much to me! ;)

Port A Cath

I finally have the time to write again. I was highly drugged for the past few days since i had my port a cath placement on June 1st. As expected from any other surgery, i was and still am sore. So percocet (pain pill) is helping me a lot. I usually take 1 every 4 hours but lowered my doze to 1 every 6 hours. I hate being immobile. That's what percocet does to me. Knocks me off really bad i end up sleeping the whole day and night. Then i wake up very hungry and thirsty i start shoving whatever food and drink i find in the fridge up my mouth. So comes bloating and constipation! Arrghhh I sound like a complaining b*tch today but i just wanna let you guys know how it really goes. Here are some pics taken of my port a cath placement.

Just woke up from the surgery.. i'm all high and puffy! Thanks mom for taking the pic ;)

closer look at the port a cath in my chest.. yes IN my chest! see the long line going up? that's a tube connected to my main artery on the neck..and YES! it feels really really weird!!!

So far that's what's been going on with me lately and yeah i did my PET scan number 2 already. And Chemotherapy starts next week June 8. It's a little rough on me this days. But i have to hang on! Good part is, my family and friends have been there every step. I even got a surprise "Save Lloyd Foundation" from my college friends and their families. Thank you so much guys for you generosity! I am truly grateful.